On being unemployed

I apologise if this is a bit of a heavy post ...

Late last year my position was made redundant along with a number of other people in the office as well as 15 store teams across Australia. It was a brutal and complicated experience that I will probably talk about in a post that will be a prequel to this one (Working Title: On becoming unemployed); but right now I want to talk about my experiences of being unemployed ... for the first time in my life.

Can I get free doughnuts now?

I have always had a job, or had one to go to whenever I resigned from a company; even when I left high school and was looking for a full time job I continued to work casually with a number of employers. Because I’d built up a considerable amount of annual and long service leave along with a good few months worth of redundancy pay, I wasn’t immediately concerned. Although I did start looking straight away, I wasn’t terribly concerned. I had time up my sleeve. This time is now running out. 

I made contact with Centrelink regarding my circumstances who advised me that that due to my payout I would not be able to apply for any assistance for some time. I also contacted my bank regarding my mortgage repayments who also told me to “wait and see”. But again, I wasn’t too concerned because surely I’d pick something up between now and crunch time. It’s been nearly three months. Crunch time is now rapidly approaching.

 

Looking For Work

I’m good at what I do. Or at least what I used to do. Unfortunately because of reassignments within my last place of employment, I haven’t done what I’m good at and enjoy doing for a few years. I’m a passionate retailer, who used to be a regional manager, who is looking for work in this field in a shrinking retail environment competing against people that are currently doing this type of work. 

Knowing that I want to get back on track with regional management and the fact that I haven’t done it for a couple of years, I am prepared to take a step back into a junior management role. But I get the feeling, and have been told this outright by one employer, that they don’t want to take a chance on me because I’ll jump ship as soon as something better and that I’m more suited to comes along. Frustrating.

The longer it takes, the more I’m becoming concerned that I’m becoming unemployable.

Cleaning up before an interview - Can't seem to smile in self-portraits!

 

Recruitment Agents

I have avoided using recruitment agents when I was looking to fill positions for my company due to the cost involved. Now that I need to find a job for myself, I find that I need to use them, but this is proving to be a difficult exercise. I understand that the employer is the client and that the candidate (me) is one of many products, and as a business you need to maintain the relationship with the client as the number one priority. The problem here is that they take minimal care in looking after their product. 

Sometimes they recruit for positions that they are not authorised to, or additionally (and I’ve been on the other side of this), they will cold call the employer and offer to recruit on your behalf. As someone who is looking to fill this position, the employer will often (and I did this in my early days of recruiting staff), allow them to do this to broaden the range of suitable candidates. But here’s the problem with this situation: given two equally suitable candidates the employer will not go with the one from the recruitment agent because they don’t want to pay the fee – and who can blame them. Another issue is that candidates will see the same job advertised via the actual company as well as via the agents, but of course they are worded differently and the agent will word it in a more appealing manner to meet with you in order to build up their candidate base for employers. 

After reading your resume and meeting with you, you will sometimes find that they will not put you forward for the role as advertised, but suggest other positions that you might find interesting. If you were currently employed, you’d probably say “no” and wait for the right thing to come along, but when you’re unemployed, you become very open to other opportunities. 

I’m an experienced regional manager for specialty clothing stores who has gone to interview for store manager positions with larger format, higher turnover companies. Could I do the job? You betcha! Will I interview well for these positions? Not as well as others that are currently assistant managers in these companies. Will the recruitment agent talk to me or put me forward for other positions closer to my field after being rejected by the previous companies? It doesn’t appear so. Even more Frustrating.

Essentially, they cast the net wide for positions that they may or not be allowed to, and when you call up to talk about the role, they cite confidentiality to be coy about the client. This is even more exasperating given that I am a male working in the rag trade (clothing retail) and they won’t even tell you if their client is men’s or lady’s fashion, so I have found myself putting in a great time and effort in applying for a role with a retailer that isn’t going to touch me with a ten foot pole – Area Manager for a lady’s intimate apparel brand. Fan-fu@#ing-tastic! I could do this work, I have made lady’s kilts and pants to measure for them, but no lady wants to buy their bra from me, so how could I train my staff in this area!

hmmm, well maybe I could try

Focus

So I’ve got to keep focused on looking for work. They say that job hunting is a full time job in itself so I’m now trying to treat it as such. I work on looking for work Monday to Friday, 9-5, and take weekends off. It helps a bit. But I’ve got to try to keep on track and I keep slipping. 

 What I’ve Lost

I had a fully maintained company car. It was a tool of my trade and not part of my salary so, despite as selling it to me when I came on board as being worth an additional $15k pa,  they didn’t have to pay me out what that was worth to me in my settlement. Same again with my mobile phone. I’ve got a cheap prepaid mobile phone which I will probably update when I get a job. It’s so cheap that it doesn’t even have an inbuilt camera, although it does have a torch! I’m yet to buy a car as I have no idea if my new job will come with one or not. Other reasons for not getting one straight away is that depending on what type of work I get will depend on what I’ll need it for. If I get a junior area manager’s position I’ll need something better than if I get a city based job where it will spend most of its time sitting at the train station and on weekends. My concern is that I’ll eventually get a job that requires me to have a car, but I will have run out of funds to buy one. I have become reacquainted with my bicycle!

I'm not into cars in a big way, but I do miss my falcon!

On that note, when I saw the writing on the wall at work, I stocked up on a couple of cases of beer. I’ve nearly run out, and with the bike as my only form of transport I guess I’ll be becoming acquainted with “long-necks”. 

anyone for a beer?

 

I'm starting to lose my sense of identity as well. Being single and career minded, my job has always formed a large part of who I am and I’ve also lost a sense of purpose and usefulness. I think that that’s the biggest thing. 

Time On My Hands

My house and garden could do with some work, so you’d think that I’d have gotten around to taking care of some of these things, wouldn’t you? Nope, I’ve become lazy. I have all the time in the world to do these things, but I can always do it later today, or tomorrow, or on the weekend, or ... later still. So it doesn’t get done. Fortunately, I have a friend coming to visit next week for his work, so I have a deadline to at least clean my house by. I think that I will feel better within myself when my house is cleaner. 

My body clock has also changed with my 9-5 job search philosophy, and I now rise at around 8:30, whereby I’d normally have been at work for at least half an hour by that time. I’ve lost all sense of structure around these things. Assuming there are not interviews scheduled for the day, I do ensure that I have a coffee ready and have “seek” open by 9am.

I live near a beach and I also really want to get into improving my photography skills. But my focus is on getting a job and I don’t want to miss an opportunity or be late in applying for jobs. If this were three months long service leave, I could be enjoying this time off, but I’m not. It’s stressful and I can’t enjoy it or make the most of it. And how great should it be that I live in Melbourne with three+ months off over summer?

Here’s the real thing: Time is now my enemy. I have too much of it that in many ways I’m wasting it and it’s running out.

Money

I’ve stopped looking at my account balance. I’m living relatively frugally and the balance keeps dropping. I haven’t checked my letter box in over a fortnight because of the bills that I know are in there. Being at home more means that my utility costs are rising, so the bills will be larger. I need to take a deep breath and deal with them. I have an interview next week that I might need a car for, so I’ll need to sort out what I have by then. Thankfully I have a very small share portfolio that I may be able to access to buy a cheap second hand car.

I was planning a trip to the ‘States in a few months, but there will not be funds, or annual leave entitlements for that, maybe in a few years (I want to do it right!- see I have a dream). In fact, my favourite musician, Brain Setzer, is coming to Melbourne shortly on his Rockabilly Riot tour, and I can’t justify the money for the tickets. This would have been a no-brainer four months ago.

Companionship

I live by myself and am single. I am unemployed and catch public transport or ride my bike if I need to go anywhere. I’ve lost some self-confidence, gained weight and felt fairly unattractive over the past few years and my current circumstances aren’t helping with this. There have been some days where I haven’t talked to or interacted with anyone. In fact, aside from a voicemail message I left for a recruitment agent at 10:30 this morning, I haven’t spoken to anyone today and it’s 5:45pm as I type this. Not conducive to meeting someone at a time in my life when I probably need someone in it. But then again, I’ve become pretty good at flying solo!

  
In Conclusion

I’m trying to find the right words to finish this off with, but there is no conclusion in sight right now, just more of the same to look forward to, although I need a conclusion pretty soon. If the worst happens I will find myself on the dole and will not be able to make my mortgage repayments. My house is too small to let out the other room, so I’d have to rent it out and rent something cheaper, or rent out a room in a share house. But who is going to rent to an unemployed late thirties man? Probably not somewhere or with people I would choose to. It’s starting to get scary. 

I have an interview next week, but I am now going to look for work in other areas such as the public service. (Coming from Canberra, there would be more than a little irony if that’s where I ended up!) Time to brush up on "addressing selection criteria"!

The Future and Now

I am trying to remain upbeat, although it’s getting harder all the time. I’m a forward planner who can’t. I’m a worker without work. I’m a do-er who doesn’t. I’m a people person without people. I’m becoming worried, lonely and unassured. I know the world won't come to an end, just starting to become anxious.

But ... Onwards, upwards, and always twirling, twirling, twirling ... as to avoid spiralling!

NB: most pictures were found via google image search and can easily be removed upon request. 

Quick Edit: Checked my twitter and RainbowTatt just posted this: The ultimate pick-me-up song. Nice! Just what I needed after getting all this out, you didn't know, but it was just what was needed!

Respect, Tommy J, Respect!

Tommy Jordan, who got his eight and a half minutes of fame (and counting) put a few bullets in his daughter's laptop as a reprimand, has gone on a morning TV programme in the 'States.

In a behind the scenes interview for the American Today Show he discusses respect for others, particularly one's parents which can be viewed here: Tommy Behind the Scenes

He linked to it on his FB page and I started a reply. My thoughts went a little wild and over 8,000 characters, so I'm posting my reply here. 

Now, The Receptacle isn't a place where I normally post this kind of stuff, so you can read on if you wish, give up half way through or commit to reading the whole thing if you like. No love or respect lost no matter what you decide!

Editors Note: Read Tommy's No Dinner Post and/or take the No Dinner Survey

G’day Tommy, 

I’ve just watched this clip and I’ve been following your family’s adventures since the first viral wave and I have been discussing it with my own father and some colleagues and friends.

In this clip you discuss respect. More specifically, stating that kids need to respect their parents. I tend to think of it as you need to demand respect from your kids. Now, by this I don’t mean that you yell at them and say “YOU WILL RESPECT ME” because I don’t think that works. You can’t force someone to respect you. 

I’m 38 and have no kids of my own, (although I did date a woman who had three young children for over a year) so you might think that I can’t understand where you’re coming from, but believe me, I support what you’ve done and are continuing to do. You see, I’ve spent a large portion of my career employing, training and working with younger people – as well as older ones. I’ve worked with kids who have come from structured families and educations as well as those who’ve come from backgrounds that are less so.

You are correct in saying that respect is the key, but as I said, it must be demanded. It is demanded by what you say and how you act. And, more specifically, how you follow through. She may not have liked you or what you did, but you demanded your daughter’s respect when you followed though after your warning to her if her behaviour and actions continued.  It appears to me that you have regained some respect for your daughter with how she has handled herself through all this.  

It appears to me that it is this respect that is missing throughout most of Gen Y; they seem to have an unwarranted sense of entitlement. In seeking to employ people from this generation, many in their first jobs, I look for people who have that respect for others. Not because I have a desire to be worshipped (far from the truth ... that’s never likely to happen!) but because when you gain employment you will be working with other people and you will need to respect and work towards the common goals as laid out by the company you are working for – yes even if you get a job where you work from home. 

Chances are that when you’re at home being raised by your parents and normally sharing common DNA, the common goals can be clearly identified and shared. Your family might insist that all dishes are cleaned, there is never a dirty dish on the bench and the house should always look like a display home or your family might be okay with the place being a bit messy as long as the garden is always well tended. When one person does not show respect for the others and allows things to slip you can see the results and you don’t like it. In your example, how would Hannah like it if no one did the dishes and she couldn’t find a clean plate to eat from? The point is that when you get a job, you will need to work towards the goals that are set out by the company who is paying you ... and the chances are you will not want to do a large number of things, and you may philosophically disagree with some tasks assigned to you. 

What chance will you have of remaining employed if you have not learnt how to respect others? What would happen if one were to say “but I don’t like vacuuming the floor, I’ve never had to do it at home”, or “but I don’t want to have to sell and ask customers for their money, it feels like I’m being pushy, I just want to chat to the customers when they come in”.  Keep whining like that and see how long it is before an employer like myself will keep you on – regardless if you actually do the task at hand or not. You will have shown neither your boss nor your co-workers any respect, and then they will make the subconscious link that you don’t want to be there and will probably assume that when left to your own devices you will stop working. 

Despite having worked for specialty retailers with a mid to high end price ranges and customer bases, when I have employed junior staff, I have looked to people who are currently employed in large chain fast food or cheaper discount variety stores where they have strict codes, policies and procedures. In these environments they either learn a work ethic or don’t survive. I need all employees to have this work ethic and the ability to get on with the job and work towards the company’s goals at all times, in their actions and their attitude. This work ethic is how employees show respect for their employers – and it’s generally rewarded with either career advancement for permanent staff members or additional shifts for casual team members. I rarely have time to work closely enough with first timers in order to instill that work ethic, so I need them to have it. If they don’t have that background, I will look at how articulate they are, how open they are to the general duties they will perform, and if they seem respectful. If they are respectful, not just to me, but how they conduct themselves with the other employees they meet before and after the interview, I can read into that they might just be a team player that will want to work for me, my way, not just have fun and collect a pay check. 

I noticed that the company that offered your daughter the job got some backlash for offering her the waitressing job. You know what? If you lived in Australia, I would consider giving Hannah a job as well. The reason being is that through all this and despite some teenage rebellious public comments, I could see that she has grown up in an environment where respect is key. Employing junior staff members sometimes means dealing with their parents, and as a fair but firm employer, I would know that when she comes home and complains about the menial tasks she had to perform (because she would, they mostly do!) it would be discussed in such a way that would be supportive of her needing to do these tasks as part of having a job and proving that she’s worthy of her employment.

And this is where your comment in this clip regarding parents being their kid’s friend as opposed to, well their parent comes in. If you and I were to have a beer at the pub and I was to say to you that “man, work sucks right now, all this shit I’ve got to do ... I just hate it!”, I would expect that you would say something along the lines of “y’know man, you don’t have to put up with that shit, sounds horrible, so what’re you going to do?”. And that would be reasonable. 

But just say that this is a conversation between a child and parent, and the same response was given because the adult wants to be friends first and foremost. What does the child learn from the conversation? It is the child of the “friend” parent who I am afraid of employing. I have had this type of parent come in to see me at the beginning or end of the shift and actually let me know that this type of menial work should not be done by their precious one. Why don’t I hire a cleaner to vacuum the floor? (my response “Well, in a way, I already do employ one because “general housekeeping” is in your child’s job description” rarely goes down well said parent, but I always let them know that their child was given a copy and they can look it over if they haven’t lost it somehow!) This type of parent has lost the opportunity to discuss life lessons such as: you will nearly always have a boss and they will have you do tasks you don’t want to do or, why don’t you ask around and talk to your friends about what they have to do at their jobs. A proper parent will let their kid know that, yup, having a job is work, that’s why it’s not called fun.

I think it’s these underlying reasons that your daughter was offered work as a result of your original clip and it’s why someone like me would willingly interview her if we were in the same hemisphere.

I’ve had employees, employers, “friends” and non-immediate family members who have failed to treat me with, and I can only therefore assume others, any respect what so ever in recent times and I guess it is these experiences that has prompted this reply. I’ve coined a phrase of sorts “You don’t have to actually respect me, but would it kill you to show me a little?”

So, as a non-parent who can look at what you’re saying and you’re actions objectively, here’s the point of this rather lengthy reply: As an employer, the way you raise your child will affect their employability and also if they can remain in gainful employment. Teach your kids how to respect (or at the very least show it) others and those senior to them. This will lead to them finding respect for themselves. Then they will find they have a need to live up to and become this respectful person. This will open them up to deciding which of their peers are deserving of their respect. In turn, they become useful members of society who are able to show authority figures respect, before they question if they deserve it. They will now have a moral compass to help them in this decision. But from my stand point: They are employable because they are likely to be “workers” who will do their very best in helping my business succeed.

Some people expect to be respected regardless if they’ve earned it, others will demand respect by their actions and the way they carry themselves. Tommy, you demand respect and have mine.

Cheers, 

Max. 

P.S. You talked about being sent to bed without any dinner, and while I agree with you, I can only relate in the most opposite manner. When I was a kid I never had an appetite for proper food. So I’d sit at the dinner table and just move the food around and not eating much and hoping to have a bit of ice cream. Concerned for my health, I guess, I was told that there was no problem, but I would sit at the dinner table while the rest of my family went into the next room to watch TV while I sat there. Oh, and I could stay up past bed-time and right through the night until my plate was empty or have it for breakfast in the morning! I only had it for brekky once!